First I want to say, I fully appreciate the comments I have received from Mark and Nate. I think they show a lot of integrity, in the true sense of the word. I could only wish that I reach that point with some sense of sanity.
I have been off from work all week. I have had time to relax from a very hectic schedule. Took some time to do some of the things I enjoy doing, cooked a few meals, spent some time with my wife and kids both together and separately, and generally just bummed around the house. I also had the time to make a few posts here, which probably will be cut down considerably once I go back to work.
I have no illusions about what it is called that I am doing. It is called cheating. I have been having sex outside of my marriage. I believe it doesn’t matter whether it is a male or female. Just for the record I have also had sex with females. Although it’s been quite some time and have been with mostly guys. Am I truly bisexual? I still enjoy sex with woman. I still enjoy the female body. But I also do enjoy sex with guys.
My wife and I have always had an active sex life. This included both fantasy stories we would tell one another as well as using toys. You see, this is where it gets tricky. She has used a strap-on on me and we have watched bi porn together. She is well aware of my excitement level, as we have done these various things. We are also regulars at Sandy Hook (nude beach). We go more then a few times a year and I usually pick a spot on the edge of the gay section. It doesn’t go un-noticed by her. She is also ok with me going to the beach alone for which I always sit in the gay section. Although she has never asked me where I sit when I go alone. She did ask me once during the course of sex if I have ever been with a guy. I didn’t want to lie, but I did feel that was not the moment to say yes. She has never asked again, but I do think she knows I lied that night. So I do think she does have some idea of my bisexuality, but still not sure how she will react when I actually say the words to her….
2 comments:
I'm glad you recognize things for what they are. I hope you know there is not judgment in any of my comments. I cannot judge those who do/have done all the same things I have. But I do find it frustrating when some guys have rationalized that it's not cheating. My feeling its "Look I don't care if you're doing it, but respect your partner enough to admit what it is."
It's interesting because I have heard lots of bi married guys who think their wives know they are bi and have had moments like yours where there was a question asked about being bi or into guys or something and its always a panic moment of "oh shit, what does she know" and "oh crap, how will she react if I even give her half truth." I mean you could have said no to her and followed up with "but wouldn't turn down trying it."
But there is the issue that you don't know how she's gonna react. I mean what guy really thinks his wife will be cool with him being into guys too. I mean I was shocked when mine was pissed about the cheating and not the fact that it had been with a guy. I was even more shocked when later she actually got turned on by it.
So does the strap-on (I'm VERY jealous of that) and bi porn still figure into things for you guys? Sounds like your wife is pretty open-minded about things. In your fantasy conversations have you ever talked about included others? Are you still in a place where the conversation could be opened? Is that something you'd even be interested in? Sharing a man and/or woman with your wife? Maybe THAT'S a fantasy conversation you could have that could develop into something more concrete. Had you had any experiences with men before you were with your wife?
Mark is right - it is cheating. I have, I will, and am no longer living in the bedroom.
One needs to be honest and real about it. BUT it is still different than another woman. My wife and I accept the cheating because she does not have a penis and even a strap on is not a penis.
My wife has been clear all along - sex with men is an issue we need to struggle through and may turn us into Will and Grace. Another woman - hit the road jack time.
Guess we could do a post - yes cheating but no, not all cheating is equal.
Nate
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