I cannot believe I have not been here in 4 years! Some things have changed and some things have not. I am still in the closet and my marriage has become increasingly difficult. Sex with my wife has become almost nonexistent while sex with men has become the norm. As my wife is a middle age woman I am almost sure she does not miss the sex. We really don’t communicate much lately. We have not talked in almost a week. She has become bitter and nasty at times to me. My response has been to withdraw, and so the cycle goes. I want out so bad but have no place to go if I leave. Finance are such that we cannot afford two households. The funny thing is even when times are “good” I am very discontent. I think resentment is high between the both of us.
On my side I have had some serious health issues which have caused me great frustration. I went from someone who was athletic and healthy to some serious heart issues. This in itself has caused me emotional turmoil. I found the meds make me feel worst then the disease. If you really want to upset your doctor, tell him you won’t take some particular med that he prescribed. I refuse to take something that will make me feel worse. Wow, as I write this I am realizing maybe I am the bitter one.
Till the next time…..
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