My dry spell continues...

As I sit here and write this I am waiting for responses from a CL ad I just posted. I have some free time and wanted to kill it . Oh, just received a response from a guy, after two emails he tells me now he just got called back to work. What bullshit. I think some of these guys just get off on answering the ads!

I appreciate any and all comments whether they are here or in my email. It does take me some time to get back sometimes, for that I apologize.

I have had some family and financial problems lately. So I think that accounts for my foul mood and preoccupation with sex. I fully realize I am using it as an escape.

Oh, just received another response from my ad, as the guy wants to chat on aol. I did state in ad I wanted this for now. I guess I am losing my patience with these guys. This was a young guy probably looking for pics. Oh yea I am right.


I did have an interesting Saturday night. Went out with wife for diner and to our local pub after and had a few drinks. Interestingly I was checking out the guys and fantasizing about taking one home and having a threesome with wife. Of course it did not happen, but went home and had some good sex with wife anyway.

Another series of emails with the pic collector and now he wants a face pic! This is after I stated in ad I would not send face pics. Help me I am drowning in a see of jerk-offs. Would you believe he is now asking for my stats which are stated in ad. Heeelp.....LOL

I gotta back to the real word and try to get some household chores done. Looks like no hook-up tonight. Just running out of time. Till the next time.

Where does one bi-guy meet others for sex?

Thanks to Mark for some incite into my current emotional dilemma. I do believe that some folks are attracted to both sexes, not sure why I am currently in this funk. I suppose this is my mid winter blues that usually affects me around this time of the year. I am am more of a warm weather person. Hopefully in the near future, I will be moving to a warmer climate.

I have had some spare time on my hands as of late and have been cruising CL. The one thing I have noticed is, in the NYC area there is no shortage of 20 to 30 year olds looking for sex with other guys in the same age group. As a reasonably attractive middle aged fellow (so I have been told) I do have a hard time meeting other guys. I am not in the gay lifestyle so gay bars are out of the question (although I have a real strong curiosity about going to one). Looking like the guy next door does not help me meet guys for sex. So CL is one of the few options and you know how that works, endless emails, requests for pics, stats etc, then the person just stops responding. Such wasted time and energy. In the summer I do take trips to Sandy Hook clothing optional beach and hang out in the gay section. That makes for great cruising and hook-ups but the winter is tough.

As I reread this I realize it may just be some scattered thoughts, for that I apologize. In any case till the next time...

Am I really gay?

I seem to be very restless the last few days. I supposed this is due to having great sex with my gay friend, wanting more and not having the free time to meet him.

A while ago I met up with this older gay guy who insists that there is no such thing as bisexuality. He states that bisexuality is part of the "destination" towards homosexuality. He then asked me if I had the time to go out and have sex, would it be with a man or a woman. I said a man, I rarely go looking for a female to have sex with ( I have one at home), although I know a woman for a lotta years that when I want a different woman she is always there for me. Am I gay?

In one of my great sex sessions with my gay friend we talked (that's right folks we talk and have a good time)about my bisexuality and I admitted to him I might be gay but would not brake up my family over it. I would just continue doing what I have been doing for the last 20 yrs.

I can't believe I just wrote this! Am I not being true to myself? I love my wife and family life. Why should I upset all of what I hold dear to me just for sex? Am I taking the easy way out by staying married? I thought I settled these questions years ago. They seem to be rearing there ugly head again.

Oh by the way the guy that outed me at my last job called me the other night! I couldn't talk at the time. He wants me to call him back. What could he possibly want from me. He nearly ruined my life.

That's it for now.....

Time Flies

I can't believe it's been this long since I posted anything here. A few things have changed since I have been here last. I completed my schooling and am working in a completely different field. It took me two years of basically full time schooling to do it. Within a few months I found a job in the field and am currently very content with the job content. Unfortunetly I am making less money due to having to take an entry level position. My stress level has gone to almost zero compared to my long term employment in the social services.

For those of you who have read previous posts, a few referred to a coworker outing me at my previous job. As you can imagine it was quite a stressful event. I must say my coworkers seamed to have taken it as office gossip. This asshole continues to tell people about this event. As i have always been discrete about my bisexuality this was one weak moment that I regret. I thought I could trust him. I know famous last words. But anyway he no longer works for that organization either. The sex was good though...

On the home front, sex with my wife is almost non existent, even then it's very quick and really not satisfying. This is a woman in the past that I could not resist. I still love her and respect her with all my heart and soul and would never leave her over sex.

Having said that, I did meet a guy for sex a few months back that I am really fond of, a gay guy who is very gentle, attentive and is a really a nice guy. In the past my hook-ups were just that hook-ups for sex. This guy is a little different. Sex with this guy tends to be a passionate which I have not felt in a long time. He wants me to go away with him for a weekend. That idea really does interest and excite me. If would be difficult but it's doable. Well that's it for now. I will try to get back here asap.

I am my own worst enemy...

I don’t have as much time as I thought I did when I started this blog. So it’s been hard to get back here to keep it updated, for that I apologize. Things have been going pretty well lately. I have been working a lot of overtime so I have not had a whole lot of time or energy to pursue sex. I will be taking a week soon for some R & R with my wife in a warmer climate. Interestingly enough or I should say true to form I have already put an ad on craigslist to try to hook-up with a guy in the area I am going to. I guess I am a slut. Hey, I always admitted to liking sex with guys.

The situation at work has quieted down quite a bit. If you recall I played with fire and got burned. I have had little contact with the guy who outed me, really only to rip into him about what he did to me. I am ashamed to say, I am still sexually attracted to him. The sex was awesome (and I never use that word). In my weak moments, I think maybe we can get together again for sex. It’s really up to me. I doubt very much it will happen but being the age I am, I never say never. What the fuck am I saying here!!! I am fucked up.

My relationship with my wife has been pretty good. The sex part not so good, It’s been few and far between. The few times we have had sex, have been very mechanical and I hate that. I could just as well jerk-off. I will keep you posted on how my vacation is going as I will be connected most of the trip. Not for work, just for pleasure…..

It is a Good Friday

So today is Good Friday and good it has been so far this morning. After more then a few hectic weeks things are starting to settle down. My health has improved and work seems to be going ok, although busy. My relationship with my wife has been also improving mostly because I have made the extra effort to make it so. I am always surprised at the outcome of things when I put in extra effort. You would thing that I would have figured this out by middle age.

After a long time (I think months) I have finally made a hook-up. I occasionally hook-up with a younger guy who is great in bed. Sometimes it’s a quickie and some time not. This last time it was not a quickie and boy was it good. When I go a long time without male to male contact I forget how good I feel afterwards. As I said in previous post I love sex with woman but also love it with guys. I feel sooo relaxed at this moment, and that would be because we just finished a little while ago.

Looking forward to taking a trip to a warmer climate in a few weeks, it will be nice to get out of this crappy weather we have been experiencing lately, also looking forward to spending some down time with my wife. Still have not had the conversation with her, but am getting closer everyday. Well, till next time…

Time heals wounds?

The passage of time has lessened the stress I have been going through. The outing situation at work has calmed down, the gossipers have moved on and my health has improved over the last couple of weeks. My so called friend at work has tried to make conversation but I am just to angry with him to discuss the situation.

As things settle, my thoughts turn back to my bi/sexuality. I have not had any sex lately and am in need of some. I worked my way down to the local cruising spot yesterday but it was pretty quiet. I did see someone that I had hooked up with a few years ago and he tried to get my attention, but I kinda made believe I did not see him. He came with too many rules. I am more of a go with the flow guy. While i do have my limits, they are few. Unfortunately, I came home and took care of myself.

As I am feeling stronger by the day I will continue my quest this weekend to bring my wife along my bisexual journey.Boy am I felling much better...